The letter regarding the husband who went to work to support his family struck a chord. I remember vividly how devastated I was when financial circumstances in my home made it necessary for my husband to leave kollel. I cringed each day as I saw him heading to the office, remembering my teachers’ constant refrain in their efforts to extol a kollel life — Nashim bameh zaka’in? Through the learning of your husbands. …
It took a toll on my menuchas hanefesh, on our shalom bayis and on my husband’s confidence. So I approached a mentor to discuss this.
And she said “ki hamakom asher atah omed … admas kodesh hu.” Wherever Hashem puts you — whatever situation you are in — it is sacred. It is exactly what Hashem wants you to be doing.
That is not to say that kollel life is not ideal. It most certainly is. Serving Hashem through enabling one’s husband to learn in kollel all day is beautiful! But it is not always possible. And if teachers could teach their high-school students that a Torah way of life has many facets of avodas Hashem, many ways to incorporate ahavas HaTorah through their husbands and children, it would certainly go a long way toward ensuring that every couple can be zocheh to build a “bayis ne’eman” long after their shidduch is made.