Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: After agreeing upon a few issues which are of priority to me (maximum number of children, presence of an assistant, etc.), I signed up my son for a neighborhood playgroup. Following my decision, a number of other mothers enrolled their children in the daycare center. When the woman did not keep her word, I decided to cancel my registration. What do I reply to inquiries of neighbors and friends, some of whom signed up because of me, regarding my canceled registration?

A: If you believe the woman breached an agreement while she can argue otherwise, you should preferably avoid relaying any specific reasons. However, if it is clearly a case of a breach in agreement, as in the number of children she accepted to her care, then it is permissible to say, “Maybe it makes no difference to you, but I care about certain conditions that we agreed upon and that the woman is not keeping to. I therefore canceled my registration.”

Concerning anyone other than a parent of a child signed up for the playgroup — whose inquiry probably stems from curiosity — there is no to’eles and hence no heter to detail the reasons for the cancelation.


The following questions and answers were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Hamodia.