Mishmeres HaSholom – Ask the Rav

Q: I heard from a co-worker that our preschool supervisor is considering giving a steady position in one of the Ganim to a certain assistant who had done a substituting stint in my Gan. I feel I should inform the supervisor that, in my opinion, that assistant does not devote herself enough to the girls and she lacks the right personality to be a Ganenet. The question is: Is this permissible? I should point out that I have a personal interest, since I’d really like to see a friend of mine get the job…

A: According to the basic halachah, it is enough for the questioner to give serious thought as to whether her intentions are indeed for the benefit of the Gan, and that this assistant really isn’t suitable, or she is motivated by her personal interests. If, after incisive thought, she concludes that the assistant really is not a good match for the job, she may tell the supervisor. Of course, she must be careful not to exaggerate her flaws; on the contrary, she should understate them. She should also strengthen her resolve to have only the constructive purpose in mind.

If she cannot decide if her words are really for the benefit of the Gan, she can consult with another Ganenet who is closely familiar with this assistant and understands the situation, and “Salvation is in abundant counsel.”

The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.