Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q:I watched a young child climb up a dangerous fence and called out to him to get down. When he failed to listen, I yelled, “If you don’t get down immediately, I’ll tell your mother!” The child was frightened and bounced off. I am now debating whether I am allowed to inform on him for the constructive purpose of having his mother keep an eye on him. I am, however, wondering if it is forbidden for me to tell,  because I said I’d only tell on him if he didn’t get down.

A:It is permissible and even obligatory to tell the parents of the child about his dangerous action. However, since the child understood that his mother would not hear about it, care should be taken that the child does not find out who told the parents. His mother can change the details in discussing the matter with the child.

For example, she can say: “A man told me,” if it was a woman who saw the child’s dangerous action, or “A woman told me,” if the person who saw the child was a man.

As long as the parents take proper precautions, the child will not make the connection between the person who threatened to tell on him and the person his mother says is the informant.