Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: At the children’s ward in the hospital I was greeted by a nervous, obnoxious nurse who caused me and my child unnecessary suffering. I discussed my experience with other mothers who had spent time in the ward, and they unanimously agreed that her behavior was out of place for a hospital. Some people added that she was a poor, suffering woman.

I believe that we should file a complaint with the hospital administration, as it would be of service to the public. Before doing so I wanted to inquire:

  1. Was I permitted to discuss the nurse’s behavior with other mothers?
  2. May I file a complaint with the hospital, which may very well cause her dismissal?

A: You may discuss the details of the nurse’s behavior with other mothers if the sole purpose is toeles. You can send a letter of complaint to the hospital, since it does not seem that in this particular case tochachah — rebuke — would do the trick. However, tread carefully and pay heed to the conditions of lashon hara l’toeles, keeping in mind not to take revenge or exaggerate. (It is always preferable to minimize the complaint rather than to exaggerate.)


The following questions and answers were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Hamodia.