Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: Parents of a boy asked me about my mechutanim. They told me that the father promised them full support, but they heard that he doesn’t follow through on his promises. Unfortunately, the rumors are founded. He promised our son an apartment and did not give it. Is it permissible for me to reveal this to the people inquiring?

A: In this instance, when you know clearly that this is your mechutan’s way, and that that is indeed what happened with regard to your son’s shidduch as well — when the father didn’t come through on his promise, without good reason — you may answer: “He also promised my son an apartment and he didn’t give it.” You must make special effort to intend the constructive purpose, and not, G-d forbid, intend revenge, aggravation, or anger towards the mechutan.

The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.