Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: In the accounting office where I work, it is very common for workers to share derogatory information about clients (among themselves or with our boss). Some examples are: Such and such client doesn’t submit work on time, that client submits paperwork in a disorganized fashion, another ignores our requests, and so on. The negativity could be referring to the client, his firm, or his workers.

Sometimes there is a constructive purpose to the conversation, e.g., it is important to pay special attention when working with a certain client who is very disorganized. But not all cases are like that.

As a Mishmeres HaSholom member I am well aware of the gravity of forbidden speech, and I try to close my ears in these cases. I cannot, however, do so when addressed directly.

I’m afraid that I’m transgressing the prohibitions of listening and accepting lashon hara, as well as the prohibitions of flattery. I would like to know how to act in order to avoid these transgressions.

A: The prohibition of listening and accepting lashon hara is relevant whether a person addresses you directly, or if you are part of a group of listeners.

The simplest solution for this problem with your boss or colleagues addressing you directly with lashon hara, is to make it known to all staff members that you are participating in the Mishmeres HaSholom programs, and that you are very careful not to speak or listen to lashon hara. In this way all your colleagues, including your boss, will understand that you are not the address for such conversations. Your benefits will be twofold, because with time, your friends will also gain awareness about guarding their tongues, and will stop speaking lashon hara.

It is advisable, that every day before you walk into the office, you say a little tefillah to Hashem that you be protected from the sin of lashon hara.