Mishmeres Hasholom: Ask the Rav

Q: I am a ganenet in a preschool connected to a certain network. Recently, a new “roving assistant” joined the staff, working each day at a different one of our preschools. The supervisor asked me to let her know if the assistant’s work is faulty in any way, and so I did.

Since other ganenets also had complaints about the assistant, she was reprimanded by the supervisor (without mention of who complained, of course).

Afterwards, the assistant tried to ask me if I was among those who complained about her and, for the sake of peace, I thought I was permitted to deny it. Did I do the right thing?

A: From your words, it appears that there were substantial flaws in the assistant’s work, and the ganenets probably pointed this out to her, to no avail. Therefore, you were right in reporting this to the supervisor, as requested (assuming that you did not exaggerate and that the intentions were l’to’eles, constructive).

You were also right to deny being among the complainers, since the assistant understood that a number of ganenets had complained, and the picture would not have changed for her as a result of this denial.

In addition, it is reasonable to assume that the other ganenets replied likewise, and therefore your denial did not cause the assistant any resentment towards the other ganenets.


The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.