Language

Herring Aid

Today, kinderlach, we’re going to start with a Yiddish folk song. Like many Yiddish folk songs, it’s part tradition — celebrating Shabbos — and part class struggle. And all irony.…

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Nominating the Predicate

I am being questioned. A reader, Mrs. R. Weiner, questioned my usage of predicate nominatives. My first impulse was to invoke the Miranda Rule and call my lawyer. (He’d say…

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Not Chopped Liver

Disclosure: This column has not been approved by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, nor the Israeli Health Ministry. It has not been evaluated by the…

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And Now … the Hamodia Word Of the Year

By the power vested (not to be confused with invested) in me (via keyboard and chutzpah), I hereby launch the Hamodia Word of the Year (WOTY) for 2016. (See below…

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So What Is Chanukah?

When my son Meilech was in his early single digits (I’m not good with numbers), his sisters celebrated birthdays in close succession. Feeling left out, Meilech asked, “When is my…

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Twixt Me and Thee

  Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, z”l, once came to speak to a group of students who seemed to be particularly aloof. When one — more affable — student offered him a…

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Red Herring Maven

There are three things I can’t bring into the house: 1) s’chug (Yemenite hot sauce), 2) arak (anise-flavored liquor) and 3) herring. As you guessed, my wife is sensitive to…

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Playing the Nazi Card

How low can you go? Apparently, lower than we think. How far can we sink after the devaluation of rhetoric and descent into the post-truth era? A quick look at…

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Post-Truth and Consequences

I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won’t. ~Mark Twain Funny thing about the story…

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Rehabilitating Rhetoric

“I used to use the word incompetent. Now I just call them stupid. I went to an ivy league school; I’m very highly educated. I know words; I have the…

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By the Yard

Like most mysteries, it started out peacefully enough. I was telling my son Meilech about someone who adopted all the customs of a certain group. And I offhandedly added, “The…

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The Kvetch of Allegiance

My daughter-in-law Ariella is a writer. She just published her second novel and she works as an editor and proofreader. Somehow, bless her, she also finds time for her family.…

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The Deposit Slip

“I can understand why people want to sin,” the Kotzker Rebbe, zy”a, said. “Sins are enjoyable. What I can’t understand is where people find the time to sin.” This logic…

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Slow Fast

Age-old question: “Why do they call it a fast when it goes so slow?” Answer 1) Nu, so what should we call it? Answer 2) When we’re in stress or…

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Days of Oy

When Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky was a child, his father would bring him to shul on Rosh Hashanah. As he fidgeted around, he started counting the pages in the Machzor. Only…

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Did You Hear the One About ____?

What did you fill in for the blank in the title? For me, it was, “Did you hear the one about the teacher who walked into a school in July?”…

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Sliced, Diced and Boiled in Oil

After my last serving — on the history, lexicography and theology of ketchup — my head chef sent a complimentary email. I replied, “You want fries with that?” I was…

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Ketching Up

“Ketchup is a vegetable.” Contrary to popular belief, President Ronald Reagan never said that. It was an anonymous USDA bureaucrat with a misguided budget-cutting plan. But that’s not what I…

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Brow Beat

I got a call from a friend I hadn’t heard from in a few years. After the hellos, he said, “We get Hamodia. So I see you’ve been writing.” Then…

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Alef-Beis on the Front

After learning in Ohr Somayach a few years, my friend Yisrael Idels went back into his profession — architecture. Before long, he was drafted into the Israeli army. During tironut…

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