My father, z”l, once heard someone complain, “I work like a dog a whole year, and comes Pesach, I don’t have a piece of bread on the table.” Without missing…
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Spy-Q
There I was, minding my own business. (Actually I was minding somebody else’s business — editing an article. But that’s my business.) Suddenly, something jumped out at me. It wasn’t…
Who Put the Poor In Poorim?
There is absolutely no basis to the rumor I made up that the word Purim is derived from poorim — a plural of poor. Purim means lots, as in a…
The Case of the Clueless Kibosh
A little bird told me to write this. OK, it wasn’t a bird. But it sounded like one. It was a tweet. (Disclosure: I use Twitter, but I never fully…
Dare to Care
In simmering irony that barely keeps from boiling over, Mark Twain told how Huckleberry Finn battled his conscience over helping a slave escape. Huck had always been taught that slavery…
It’s All In Your Head
Pull up a chair. I’ve got a story for you. Back when I was a mail-order copywriter, one day I was drinking decaffeinated coffee. (It was before a fast day…
Storming the Walls Of Technopoly
In early January, irate victims of cyberattacks, data breaches, and tech giants’ peddling of private information smashed computer network servers in Palo Alto, California. Waves of attacks spread to Menlo…
Woe of the Year
There’s a pernicious rumor going around that Chicken Little was wrong. However, unlike our little feathered friend, I didn’t run with Henny Penny and Ducky Lucky to tell the king…
Shmooze Control
Call me a perfectionist (thank you), but whenever I write, edit or proofread, I keep my reference toolkit close at hand. Along with essential dictionaries, thesauruses and usage manuals, I…
So What Is Chanukah?
When my son Meilech was in his early single digits (I’m not good with numbers), his sisters celebrated birthdays in close succession. Feeling left out, Meilech asked, “When is my…
Do You Make These Mistakes in English?
I lied. Maybe I’d better rephrase that. I exaggerated. Actually, a more precise term would be hyperbole — “the rhetorical device of deliberate overstatement” (Garner’s Modern English Usage). Vocabulary.com defines…
Lies Big and Small
Even in the Pale of Settlement, some people had unsettled rivalries. Like the two merchants who met in a railway station in Belarus. “Where are you going?” “To Pinsk.” “Aha!…
Tyrannosaurus Lex
What’s another word for thesaurus? That joke sums up the boon and bane of thesauruses. Why not “thesauri”? Garner’s Modern English Usage says that “thesaurus — a book or online…
Huts of a Different Color
When I was a boy, around this time of year in school, we had to write a composition: “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.” Since then, “spent” has taken on…
Declaration of Repentance
Ancient Mysteries Revealed: Discover Supernatural Secrets of How to Lose at Least 44 Types of Ugly Sins in Just 10 Days — Guaranteed! Simple Prayers and Rituals Make Your Soul…
Of Cabbages And Kings
The lowly cabbage is packed with nutrition. Mark Twain observed, “Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.” Wild…
Workplay
I was walking to shul one Shabbos and I saw an ID tag that someone had lost. It had his name and picture, and his title: ORDERLY. I thought of…
Word War 3rd
Where do you turn when you need to know something? (All pious answers of “my Rabbi” or “the Talmud” will no doubt be smiled upon in Heaven, but holy answers…
The Canary
Jews have often been called “the canary in the coal mine.” Like the miners who carried canaries to detect carbon monoxide or other toxic gases, a society on the brink…
Waiting for The Kvatter
Mrs. Chaikie Brown sent me a kind note about the column. She wrote, “The subject matter is certainly of interest to me as I am a lover of good grammar…