WEBSTER’S MAGNUM OPUS

It has been my long-begotten but hardly-forgotten desire to bequeath unto you, as I believe it behooves me, that ponderous primal agita, a certain existential angst, nay, weltschmerz, if you will, that stirs my soul to put the proverbial quill to ink and pen to paper to express a fleeting, ephemeral and cosmic disquiet at the state of presence engendered by the proliferation, propagation and promulgation of ponderously overwrought and excruciatingly overextended sentences that at once capture and combine profoundly pseudo-intellectual pomposity, absurd levels of non-specificity, theatrical usage of little-used words like scarified, etiolated and docile, and excruciatingly overextended sentences; I should like to hear your thoughts…

Ever your faithful reader, Fitzgerald Franklin Yissochor Getzel Furball, III, Esq.