The Boys’ Shidduch Crisis

It was nice to read your Editorial “Get the Phone to Ring,” (Hamodia Prime, Nov. 20, 2019).

You wrote — “The daughter/granddaughter in question does her part, trying her best to keep all her emotions in check, to focus on her work instead of focusing on the fact that there isn’t a single name on the table.”

I want to comment that there is a big misconception and injustice made by people about the shidduch crisis that we need to fix. There is too much bias and focus on the girls’ plight, and little or no focus on the boys’.

Why does everyone ignore the shidduch crises of our sons? Are they not people too? I know of many older boys who are in their 30s, and have not found their shidduch and basherte girl. We should also care about them, and not just go on with our lives.

You should have written, “The son/grandson, the daughter/granddaughter in question does his/her part, trying his/her best to keep all his/her emotions in check, to focus on his/her work or learning instead of focusing on the fact that there isn’t a single name on the table.”

The fact is that there are many boys without a single name on the table. There are many, many boys who have not gotten a shidduch offer in nine or 10 years. They feel as if they have been abandoned by the Jewish community. No one reds a shidduch to them. Their brother or sister, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, uncle or aunt, cousin or any relative, could care less about them.

What will become of all the single boys and girls?

We dare not stand passively by on the side lines of the shidduch crisis, when this suffering continues on a massive scale.

As Chazal (Taanis 11a) teach us, “Whoever suffers along with their community will merit and witness the consolation of the community.”

Name Withheld