Positive Parenting

Creating Realistic Expectations

Q: I consider myself a giving parent, but I purposely set limits when it comes to my children’s requests for material things. It doesn’t really seem to help, though, because…

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Parenting on the Run

Q: My nine-year-old son is always “ready to run” — so he keeps me and my husband running as well! He can act so impulsively that I don’t know where…

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The Dangers of Perfectionism

Q: I have a daughter starting first grade in September and I’m concerned about her ability to adapt and meet the expectations that come with being a first-grader. I am…

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Sensitive to Criticism

Q: My 15-year-old daughter is hypersensitive when it comes to hearing any criticism from family members. I feel like I need to walk on eggshells if I have to suggest…

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Reward for Misbehavior?

Q: I have appreciated your recent columns on the topic of self- esteem. But while what you write sounds good in theory, it doesn’t seem to work with our nine-year-old…

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Building Self-Esteem (Part 2)

Last week we spoke about the challenge of improving self-esteem in the child we consider particularly difficult. Behaviors and pitfalls that a frustrated parent needs to avoid were also discussed.…

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Building Self-Esteem (Part 1)

Q: Last week’s column spoke of building our own self-esteem, as adults, in order to serve as role models for our children. With regard to building self-esteem in our children,…

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Building Whose Self-Esteem?

Q: I have often heard about the importance of building a child’s self-esteem. Yet I find it very difficult to help my children with this, as I myself suffer from…

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War Zone Mediation

Q: I used to view myself as a pretty calm person and not particularly high strung. But after having children, I sometimes feel that I’m in a war zone. With…

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Distrust Deters Achievement

Q: My 14-year-old son can be mistrustful and cynical towards others, and is even guarded when it comes to his friends. His class is full of “cool” students who appear…

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Our Sister Is Annoying Us

Q: Bli ayin hara, we have a number of daughters who are close in age, and sometimes it is too close for comfort. Our 14-year-old daughter is a little awkward…

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‘I Only Want Mommy’

Q: My three-year-old daughter has been particularly fussy lately, especially during Yom Tov. Whenever she wanted something, even something simple like a drink of water, she would refuse to take…

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Bikur Cholim Expectations

Q: Sometimes I think the expectations I have of my children are unrealistic. The younger generation seems to be quite self-absorbed, and trying to inculcate the value of basic mentschlichkeit…

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Overwhelmed After Pesach

Q: Though some people complain about the stress before Pesach, I am more concerned about what awaits me after Yom Tov. All the issues that I have managed to close…

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Therapy or Not?

Q: My 15-year-old daughter has had issues of low self-esteem, especially in regard to academic and social issues at school.At home, she seems to feel more happy and relaxed. Because…

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My ‘Perfect’ Family

Q: Before I got married, I didn’t realize what a rigid person my husband was. Everyone praised him so highly for his hasmadah and keeping seder so well that I…

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Adult Sibling Rivalry

Q: My vision of being a grandmother had included sitting and telling stories to my grandchildren — perhaps of my life, or of their parents’ lives. I guess any idyllic…

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Deficient Social Skills

Q: My ten-year-old son has severe deficits in his social skills, and it has been very difficult to point this out to him. When I describe ways that he might…

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Assisting the Adult Single Child

Q: I have heard only too often the idea of showing a “united front” before our children (even if parents’ opinions differ). Sometimes, my husband and I have been successful…

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When a Child Feels Like a Nebach

Q: Bli ayin hara, we have a bunch of lively sons in our home — ages 2 to 15 — each with a very different temperament. My husband and I…

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