Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: I’ve been learning hilchos shemiras halashon on the phone with two high school friends for close to three years. Our sessions are steady and we take them very seriously. We learn and explain the halachos, discuss real life examples of the relevant halachos, and when necessary ask a Rav for clarification.

Unfortunately, with regard to practical application, I’m not able to withstand tests and to guard my tongue. What can I do?

A: My Rebbe, the Imrei Chaim of Viznitz, zt”l, interpreted homiletically the following passuk, “Vayanhig es hatzon achar hamidbar — And he guided the sheep far into the wilderness,” (Shemos 3:1) to mean that Moshe Rabbeinu — hinhig — taught his sheep, his People, a way of life, and he told them — achar hamidbar — that it is a good idea to postpone their speech. Practically, this means that when the yetzer hara entices a person to speak forbidden words, he should postpone his answer and then decide what to say or not to say.

The above tried and tested suggestion will, b’siyatta diShmaya, help you overcome your urge for evil speech. It is advisable that you also make an agreement with your chavrusos to inform each other daily of any slips in speech, and to take notice of whether or not you utilized the idea of achar hamidbar — postponing your words.