Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: I suggested a specific girl as a shidduch for a boy I know, and I understood that the boy’s family is very particular about a girl’s looks, specifically that she not be overweight. I know that the girl’s family members are all quite heavy, and that she herself was very overweight before she went on a diet. I want to know if I should share these details with the boy’s family.

A: This is a case where it is clear that looks are a decisive factor in the boy’s family — especially the weight issue, which also includes considerations of health and functional abilities. Under the circumstances, it seems that one should inform them of the family’s tendency. It can, however, be mentioned in a praiseworthy and positive tone, as in, “This family, including the girl, are physically strong and not slight and weak,” or a similar phrase.

The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.