Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: As a lawyer and notary, my job entails contacting customers and various other individuals, via email, for work-related and other issues.

Is it permissible for me to show my wife an email response I received, if it is of interest to her. In addition, would it be permissible to do so if there is a constructive purpose involved, as in getting her advice, hearing her opinion on the matter (her opinion is important to me because she is calmer and more thought-out than I), or telling her about annoying or hurtful responses, misunderstandings, etc.

A: This question is too generalized and touches on every topic in the world. You ask if you can show an email “if it is of interest to her” — but anything could be of interest. You do define the question more explicitly further on, and ask if you can “tell her about annoying or hurtful responses, misunderstandings, etc.” This statement, however, also encompasses a wide range of incidents, and it isn’t possible to give a conclusive answer regarding this type of question.

One must realize that in these matters one cannot receive an all-inclusive heter to share confidential matters with one’s wife. Rather, each instance must be judged independently.

The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.

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