Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: I am a student in an upper elementary grade. One of our classmates lately became the “class queen.” When the situation became unbearable, I began organizing a group of girls to stand up against the behavior of this “queen.” I soon realized that it was leading us to discussions involving lashon hara, and rechilus. How can we solve this annoying social problem without transgressing?

A: You did not explain what is bothering you about this “class queen,” and how it is affecting you negatively. You also did not include the details of what action the group of her opponents wanted to take against her.

In any case, it seems that you are right in assuming that you can easily stumble over serious prohibitions of lashon hara, rechilus and machlokes. As young girls, all your good will and right intentions cannot effect the necessary change, and you can easily err because of your lack of experience.

Therefore, the right thing to do would be to approach your teacher and let her handle the situation. As students, you may inform your teacher of the suffering incurred from the “class queen.” While discussing this with your teacher, remember to adhere to the Chofetz Chaim’s conditions for lashon hara l’toeles, especially to keep the constructive purpose in mind (not revenge), and not to exaggerate.


The following questions and answers were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Hamodia.