Mishmeres Hasholom – Ask the Rav

Halachic queries answered by Harav Menachem Mendel Fuchs, shlita, Menahel Ruchani of Mishmeres HaSholom, posek in the Eidah HaChareidis and Rav of Kiryas Shomrei HaChomos

Q: My little third-grader sits next to a girl whose family’s values do not match ours. From a reliable source, I’ve heard about incidents that can be spiritually damaging to our daughter. Since this partnership leads to a friendship out of school as well, I want to request that they be separated. I am concerned that the teacher will not accede to my request without hearing details. What am I permitted to say in this situation?

A: You are correct in treating this problem seriously. You should tell the teacher: “Our families differ on Yiddishkeit issues, and I ask that the girls be separated.” Do not discuss details, since such conversation can easily lead to unnecessary talk and transgressions.

In case the teacher isn’t easily convinced, you should contact a Rav or other competent authority with the details of the situation. (Under normal circumstances there is no reason to include the name of the family involved. If the need does arise, the Rav may listen, l’toeles.) In the name of the Rav, you can then request that the girls be separated.


The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.