Mishmeres HaSholom: Ask the Rav

Q: A relative called me regarding a shidduch for her daughter. Because I am aware of a serious problem in the boy’s family, I postponed my reply by asking my relative to call back for accurate information when my husband was home. In the meantime, I asked a she’eilah and was told to hint at the problem. She never called again, and I’m debating whether to call and forewarn her. Is there a heter to do so or can I only tell her if she asks me?

A: Before you inform an interested party of a problem, the details of the specific situation must be considered. In this case, because the family didn’t follow up on their original inquiry, and you’re not sure they’re still interested in the shidduch, it is very likely that you shouldn’t tell them about the existing problem.

The questions and answers above were taken from the Mishmeres Hasholom pamphlet in Israel. For details and inquiries please e-mail us at office@hasholom.org or call 972-2 5379160.

The views expressed are of the individual author. Readers are encouraged to consult their own posek for guidance.