Minute 806: Purposeful Partners

“Unbelievable,” Mrs. Scheftel said. “I always considered them so smart.”

“There’s the pure Jewish way of life and there’s the lifestyle that’s been infiltrated with popular culture’s misguided values,” Mrs. Cohen replied.

“Living in exile, every one of us has some taint of the outside world that’s seeped in,” Mrs. Scheftel said.

“I’m too busy to pay much attention to the ‘culture’ around us. I’m a wife and mother and I realize that the purpose of marriage is to raise the next generation in the ways of the Torah,” Mrs. Cohen said.

When a couple marries, they hope to succeed in building a home that nurtures the next generation. As each partner contributes towards the success of their mutual project, outside distractions lose their hold, and character traits such as petty selfishness, narcissism and pride must relinquish any position of primacy in the couple’s life. They do not contribute to the desired outcome, and must not be allowed to dictate the parents’ behavior.

Imagine a commanding officer in battle worrying about how well his dinner was cooked. How would that help his soldiers who are in harm’s way? Or, can a firefighter who is trying to extinguish a blaze and rescue lives think about his friend’s somewhat insulting comments earlier that evening? The results of allowing such trivial concerns into their thoughts would be disastrous!

Parents must always remember that their highly impressionable offspring are observers of their parents’ behavior in the most stressful situations. Disagreements and moodiness do not advance the goal of the marriage. Parents must be on the lookout to defuse any damaging elements that attack the home and always try to be on their best behavior.

One More Second: Another Thought For the Day

In refutation … of the argument that this person hates his fellow Jew because he’s a better craftsman than himself, and because of that he blames his fellow Jew for taking away his livelihood, Chazal have … said (Yoma 38b) that it is not possible for any person to encroach even one hairsbreadth on the standard of living decreed for him on Rosh Hashanah … When one recalls this teaching of Chazal, his hatred for his fellow Jew will certainly disappear. (Chofetz Chaim, Kuntres Ahavat Yisrael, Chapter 3)