Preparing for Yom Kippur

As we stand before Hashem during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, the fate of the world hangs in the balance. As we daven for yeshuos, both as a community and as individuals, it behooves us to be aware of the words of Chazal that aveiros bein adam lachaveiro are not forgiven on Yom Kippur until the one who has been injured forgives.

More and more, we hear of rifts in families and strife that has divided entire communities. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to forgive and grant us a good year — but our tendency toward internal strife sometimes doesn’t allow Him to do so.

During these days it is worthwhile to acquaint ourselves with a story that Harav Yaakov Yitzchak Ruderman, zt”l, the Rosh Yeshivah of Yeshivas Ner Yisroel in Baltimore, would often share with his talmidim.

The story is cited in a footnote to Rav Tzvi Yechezkel Michelson’s introduction to the sefer Ein Habdolach of Harav Yisrael Yonah Landau. It seems that, about 220 years ago, in Rav Landau’s town of Kepno in the district of Posen, they needed a new chazzan. A certain chazzan named Shimon came to town — one who had a remarkably beautiful voice. The problem was that Shimon wasn’t particularly careful with what he ate. In fact, he is described as an individual who kept all the essin in the Torah — “es haneveilah v’es ­hatreifah” — a takeoff on the Yiddish word ess, to eat; but when he came to “es Hashem Elokecha tira” — fear of Hashem — he would move away.

Still, Shimon’s voice was so beautiful that the members of the shul wanted to hire him. Rav Landau and his supporters refused. A veritable war was on the brink of ensuing. Rav Landau decided to send the she’eilah to Harav Yosef Hatzaddik of Posen, the son-in-law of the Noda B’Yehudah, and one whom Rav Ruderman identified as the Gadol Hador at that time. The startling answer came back: “Mutav l’haamid tzelem b’heichal v’al yarbeh machlokes b’Yisrael — It is better to put an idol in the Temple than to cause machlokes.”

The story continues that after they had hired the chazzan, the Rav tried to befriend and influence him. He would take him into his room after davening and offer him a l’chaim and speak to him with warmth, trying to convince him to change his behavior. When that did not work, he encouraged him to drink enough l’chaims so that he ultimately would walk around the town drunk. The members of the shul decided it wasn’t befitting for them to have a chazzan acting like a drunkard and they decided to fire him.

The moral of the story: Although you have to accomplish what has to be done, it should not be done in a way that causes machlokes.

A number of years ago, when a group was agitated about some of the decisions of Harav Hagaon Harav Aharon Leib Steinman, shlita, they posted signs on the walls of Bnei Brak attacking him. His talmidim prepared signs attacking the attackers. When Rav Steinman saw one of the signs that his talmidim had posted, he immediately instructed them to take it down. He explained to them that posters such as these are the cause for posters about yesomim and almanos.

In how many families do people not talk to each other? In how many shuls are there groups that berate others? In how many communities are negative thoughts expressed about other communities?

How do we expect Hakadosh Baruch Hu to forgive our transgressions and grant us a gmar chasimah tovah when we don’t find it within ourselves to be mevater and allow bygones to be bygones with those we perceive did us wrong? When we mention the 13 middos of rachamim of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we are admonished to emulate them. The Tomer Devorah explains that the great mercy of Hashem is that although we do things against His Will, He continues to love us and support us. If we ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu to respond to our needs, we must show him that we are emulating Him by being mochel even those who do us wrong.

As we prepare for Yom Kippur, let’s think about the impact upon our community if in our personal and communal lives we would take heed of Rav Ruderman’s message. Let us all be zocheh to be mesaken our bein adam lachaveiro behaviors so that Yom Kippur can cancel all our sins. Doing so would allow us all to merit a chasimah tovah — a shnas Geulah v’yeshuah.

This article appeared in print in the September 17th, 2015 edition of Hamodia.