The Manufactured Rudy Checklist

“Do you or don’t you agree with Rudy Giuliani?”

The mounting scandal is metastasizing by the hour. Republican presidential candidate after Republican presidential candidate is confronted with The Mother of All Qs: Was America’s Mayor right in saying that President Obama does not love his country?

Some obscure Republican said something — “something extremely hurtful,” CNN made sure to repeat (sniffle, sniffle) — and the American people have a right to know where you stand on this issue.

News orgs made checklists of all the candidates and their responses to the Question. Most of them were intimidated into submission.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker? “You have to ask the president what he thinks about America.” Florida Sen. Marco Rubio? There’s “no doubt” Obama loves America. And Jeb Bush “doesn’t question President Obama’s motives” although “he does question President Obama’s disastrous policies.”

Mr. Smith from Small Town, U.S.A., does Obama love America? Bungle this and your position of freeholder is in jeopardy. What about you, Mr. VanDeMoo of Jillaroo?

Nobody asked them, but Democrats were happy to add their free commentary — indignation to the second power thrown in for no added fee.

“Pitiful,” huffed Mayor Bill de Blasio. “I feel sorry for Rudy Giuliani today,” said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest.

Quick, could you at the spur of the moment name all the Republicans running for president? Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz can.

“Jeb Bush. Scott Walker. Marco Rubio. Now it’s your turn. Chris Christie. Ted Cruz. Rand Paul. Stand up, say ‘enough,’” she said. “Lindsey Graham, Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Ben Carson, Mike Pence, John Kasich and the rest of you.”

Pretty good, considering that she was engulfed in her own scandal later that day for promising a major donor to change her mind about legalizing medical marijuana if he recants his criticism of her.

Barack Obama. Hillary Clinton. Jim Webb. Joe Biden. Martin O’Malley. Now it’s your turn. Bill de Blasio. Harry Reid. Nancy Pelosi. Stand up, say “enough.” Is it hypocritical to change your vote on a pivotal issue for a few dollars?

Additionally, Politico reported this week that “according to people who spoke with her, when she sensed Obama was considering replacing her as chair in 2013, she began to line up supporters to suggest the move was both anti-woman and anti-Semitic.”

Obama is anti-woman? Obama is anti-Semitic? Is this the sort of people we want loving America?

Biden — hey, what about Biden? Are his comments this week (Bidenism of the week, it’s searchable) to an African group that all Somalis are cab drivers condemnable? “If you ever come to the train station you may notice that I have great relations with them, because an awful lot of them are driving cabs, and are friends of mine,” he said.

Yeah, and some of my best friends are… Not to mention that Biden never takes a cab. He’s the veep. Also, there is no Somali community in his hometown of Wilmington. Guinean, perhaps, but no Somali.

Where are the checklists? Where’s the outrage? The truth is that nobody cares because it’s just Joe being Joe. Rudy, as someone who once ran for president — oh, never mind…

To the media, it’s a Republican thing. Before the Great Rudy Scandal, there was the one over which candidate supports evolution. And before that was the Measles Vaccine Scandal.

To be honest, I watched the video of Giuliani’s remarks and he appeared animated by something. He started right off with a ringing condemnation of Obama’s foreign policy (I challenge Giuliani’s detractors to disagree with him on this. C’mon, just say the words).

According to a New York Times report, Giuliani’s friends say he has become “a man obsessed — horrified at what he views as a listless White House approach to terrorism and instability in the Middle East.” During a series of (less famous) speeches earlier last week, he gave vent to his feelings in stronger and louder language. (“Mr. President, wake up! Come off the golf course!”)

In truth, Giuliani did not stray from the conservative script. It is regular conservative fare that Obama hates America, is a commie socialist community disorganizer from Chicagoland who pranked enough of the nation’s voters to elect him as leader of the free world — twice.

To his foes, Obama is at once an incompetent bungler and a wily strategist out to change the very face of America. He is seen by the GOP as an improviser on the world stage, ad-libbing responses to global problems as the world careens wildly to the edge of a chasm. Simultaneously, he is considered a devious master tactician culminating a years-long plan to sell out the country.

“Blame Bush” has a certain ring to it that “Blame Obama” is missing, but the accusations conservatives are throwing Obama’s way appear to be setting up the next president’s political strategy. (Acme Signs Inc. is already priming for 15,000 copies of a “Miss Me Yet?” sign, version Obama.)

Is Obama a patriot? The point is irrelevant. Just last month, Obama said that American companies who transfer their headquarters out of the country to save on taxes are “un-American.” Exaggerating to make a point is itself as American as poached plum pudding. What’s important is that Obama quickly make a decision to defeat the Islamic State and not sell the store to Iran.

Rudy’s leadership will never be forgotten by those of us who lived through 9/11. I have yet to feel the “thank G-d he’s in office and not the other guy” in the past six years of the Obama era.

This article appeared in print on page 22 of the February 25th, 2015 edition of Hamodia.