I am writing regarding a Positive Parenting article (October 23, page 16), where a mother claimed that her children and grandchildren came for Yom Tov and she had no help from them. They were on vacation! The granddaughter wouldn’t even pick up something from the floor when the grandmother asked her to. And the mother justified her daughter. I am appalled.
I also married off all of my children, baruch Hashem, and they also come to me. However, before Yom Tov they call me and offer to bring food — either fish or the main dish or a side dish or cakes — so that not everything falls on me. During the meal, each mother serves her own family. She knows better than I do how much and what her children will eat. Actually, I am the one sitting at the table being served, and they all get up to serve. I think it is chutzpah for children to expect their mother to serve all the children and grandchildren because they are “on vacation.” If they want a vacation, they can go to a hotel. If they love coming to their parents, they must pitch in.
And, before my children leave, they clean up and pack away all the toys they took out. One of my sons even washes the floor. I don’t ask him to. He just feels that his children made the mess so he wants to clean up after them and not burden me with it. The noise level of all the children and grandchildren, bli ayin hara, is hard enough for the grandparents to deal with; to expect the grandmother to serve everyone and clean up after them?!? Please.
Maybe there was something wrong in the way those children were brought up. I think they should be retrained and told by the grandmother: “I am on vacation.”